RELATIONSHIP

Good relationship is the most important factor for peace and happiness in life and career success. It is closely linked to better health and even a longer life span.

We all need to be good at building and maintaining a good and strong relationship. To become good in the relationship, “We must understand the philosophy of the most important relationship, the parental relationship.”

There is no relationship more potent than the parental, and this is the ONLY relationship that cannot be replaced. We can get another brother, sister, and spouse. However, we can never get another mother or father. No relationship cares more than parents do. They do not live their lives. They live for their children. This philosophy is necessary to understand and implement if we want to be good in relationships. We can never become good in relationships until we believe in living for others. We can never be happy until we make people around us happy. We can be very good people, but if we do not care for someone, we are nothing for him/her.

It is widely accepted that if we want to know about someone’s behavior, we should first check their behavior with family members and neighbors. After consulting many books and people who are considered champions and masters at building and maintaining good relationships, we at Xoonax have arranged relationships into six categories. These categories are based on the time we spend together. This means good behavior with family members, co-workers, and neighbors is crucial as we interact more with them.

1. Family
We spend more time with family than with any other category. In most cases, we spend more than twelve hours with our family. The longer we spend time, the more we experience changes in their moods and behavior, so we learn more about how to live happily. Learning to live peacefully and happily with family members helps and makes it easier for us to adjust to people in other categories.

There is one aspect that is very important while we live with family. Family members are loving, caring, and very sympathetic to us. Such behavior from them poses a challenge to our psychology. Our nature tries to abuse their tolerance and kind attitude. Once we know it, realize it, and apply it to us, we achieve a milestone of humility. This is an incredible milestone that raises our self-image. The rise of self-image empowers our personality significantly and develops an astonishing power of tolerance that provides space for others to grow. The more we tolerate them, the more we win them. Then they start living for us – we make them happy, and they make us happy.

2. Co-workers:
Five days a week, we spend eight hours or more at our workplace, the second most extended period after spending time with our family. Therefore, we have recognized this category as the second most important among the six.

This is perhaps the most complex category of all the six. We face people who are not our relatives. They do not have any feelings about us; they don’t care about us. They only care about themselves, and such selfishness often drags them into a behavior where they do not mind even leg-pulling. That is why, in this category, we learn about real life. Learning to live/work happily heightens our self-image and increases our career success.

In the context of workplace relationships, we encounter two distinct sub-categories: one that supervises us (supervisors), and the other that serves us (subordinates). Working with our supervisors, we learn how to become a good team member, while working our subordinates, we learn how to become a good team leader.

Supervisors: We must approach our work with supervisors by setting aside personal egos and fully embracing their plans and instructions. While it is important to provide constructive feedback when necessary, we must recognize that the decision to accept or act on that feedback rests with them. Regardless of how we feel or what we think, it is crucial not to insist on our own perspective if it contradicts their approach. This is often one of the most challenging aspects for employees, as many fail to realize that supporting and assisting their supervisor is far more important than asserting what they believe is best for the company. Additionally, and perhaps most importantly, supervisors need a reliable, cooperative team member, not a “rocket scientist.” Employers value a strong team player with the right attitude over an intelligent employee who struggles with collaboration. A dependable, adaptable team member, even with less technical skill, is far more valuable to the success of the team and the organization than someone who is highly intelligent but fails to work well as a team member.

Subordinates: The second subcategory comprises co-workers who assist us. Because they are paid for their assistance, they have no choice but to listen and follow us. This subcategory requires us to lead, guide, and energize our assistants with sympathy. We will face a wide range of personalities in this subcategory, each with unique strength and challenges. It’s important to appreciate those who listen and follow our direction, but equally essential to allow space for those who may be slower to adapt or less receptive. One common mistake that team leaders make is making negative criticism that can demotivate or harm their subordinates. Rather than focusing on what they did wrong, we should focus on providing constructive guidance to help them improve. Good employees will recognize their mistakes and take steps to correct them on their own, while bad employees will eventually face the consequences. Leave it to the time.

3. Neighbors
The third category includes our next-door neighbors. While we may not spend as much time with them as we do with our family or co-workers, we interact with them more frequently than with individuals in the next three categories. These interactions, though typically brief, play a significant role in shaping our daily lives and contribute to our sense of community.

After family, neighbors are often the first to reach out when you need support. A good rule of thumb is to be the kind of neighbor you would want to have. Cultivating mutually respectful and polite relationships with neighbors is key to fostering a positive community. Instead of focusing on their weaknesses, we should appreciate their strengths and always look for opportunities to help and support them. Our goal should be to make them feel fortunate to have us as neighbors, creating an environment where they see us as a blessing in their lives.

4. Friends
This is a remarkable category. It distinguishes itself because all its members are supportive personalities, either supportive or not a friend. You can have non-supportive personalities in every category, even in the family. However, in this category every one of them supports you.

These are people who are not our relatives. However, we stay in touch with them more than our relatives. They are members of our team of life. We have a trusted relationship with them. We can share and discuss things more than we can discuss with relatives. The interesting thing about this category is that a friend belongs to all five categories except the sixth one. A friend can be a family member, co-worker, neighbor, or relative. After family members, friends have more influence in our lives than anyone else. We should always try to be available when they need us. We should try to be the first person they should call without any hesitation.

5. Relatives
This is an incredibly important category. Like family, they are our own. We have direct or indirect blood relationships with them. We do not stay in touch very frequently. Therefore, we do not learn more in this category; however, being good with relatives is very important. Whoever is good with relatives prospers more in life. We have placed this category on the fifth number, or the second last because we spend less time with them; otherwise, it would have been the second category.

6. Others
We have not named this category acquaintances because it also includes people we meet for the first time or only once in a lifetime (please guide if I need to make a change). People in this category are not from our family, nor are they our relatives, nor are they our friends. We do not spend much time with them, so experience and learning are the least in this category. We divide this category into two, i) acquaintances and ii) strangers. We do not have any interest in these two subcategories, therefore our attitudes and behavior with them are tests of our personality. Our attitude and behavior should be like this: Acquaintances should look forward to meeting us when they see us, and strangers should feel blessed after meeting us.

Conclusion
Relationships are the fabric of our lives. Whether it’s with family, friends, co-workers, or strangers, every interaction shapes who we are and what we achieve. By focusing on understanding, tolerance, and kindness, we can cultivate meaningful connections that bring joy and success to our lives and to those around us.

Reminder: the philosophy behind the parental relationship, living for others is the secret for the “good relationship, the most important factor for peace and happiness in life and career success”.